Keeping Women happy

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to the men: Make the
woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something
she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for
doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)

You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)

In the rain (+ But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)

You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)

You pummel it with iron rod (+10) It's her pet (-10)


SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy (-2)

Named Tina (-4)

Tina is a dancer (-6)

Tina has silicon implants (-80)


HER BIRTHDAY

You take her out to dinner (0)

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)

Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)

And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colours of your favourite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)

You take her to a movie she likes (+4)

You take her to a movie you hate (+6)

You take her to a movie you like (-2)

It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)

You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)


ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]

You hesitate in responding (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) Any other
response (-20)


COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned _expression (0)

You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)

You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)

She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Happy marriage cuts stress for women

LONDON: One of the biggest stressors in a woman's life is a bumpy marriage - the worse the marriage, the higher the stress level but "the better the wedding, the lower the stress level".

Yes, according to a study carried out by researchers, a happy marriage cuts stress for working women as they have lower levels of a stress hormone than those in miserable relationships, the Daily Mail reported here on Wednesday.

However, it does not make any difference in case of their husbands as men's stress levels are determined mainly by how busy they are at work, not the state of their home life.

According to lead researcher Darby Saxbe of University of California, "As far as women are concerned, being happily married appears to bolster physiological recovery from work."

"Women in unhappy marriages are coming home from a busy day and, instead of having some time to relax and have a spouse picking up the load of setting the table, getting dinner going, signing forms for the kids, these women may have immediately to launch back into another stressful routine," he said.

"Perhaps in happily married couples the demands of domestic life are being shared more equitably between men and women, or at least that may be the case when wives return home from a demanding day at work," Darby added.

The researchers came to the conclusion after analysing a data of 60 married parents who were asked how satisfied they were with their marriage and how busy they were at work. They also collected saliva samples from participants in the early morning, afternoon and evening to measure cortisol levels.

Women in happy marriages were found to have stronger declines of the hormone than those in less blissful unions while in men, the state of their relationship with their wife appeared to have little influence on levels of cortisol, which were affected far more by how busy they felt at work.